Yes, 6 months since my last post!

Well, lots has been going on, namely that Karena and I are getting hitched! We are walking each other down the aisle on November 12th in Portland, Or (hopefully without too much rain)…

There are two reasons we are walking ourselves down the aisle:

1. We are 40 and 42 and it seems silly otherwise – plus I think Karena has issue with the idea of giving your daughter “away”
2. Both of our fathers are not coming to the ceremony – mine because we haven’t spoken since I became pregnant with Oliver 9 years ago, and hers because he believes our marriage is an abomination

We hadn’t known her father felt this way prior to the wedding invitation – indeed we were taming down some of the elements of the ceremony (we have a drag queen as MC!) in case her father might find it too blue.

Prior to the wedding invitation we had visited her father and his wife – even sleeping in the same bed in their home. They loved Oliver and were very kind to me…

In the letter we got as his response to the invitation, he said that he had been hit on once when he was a young man (after he met a man in a hotel bar and invited him back to his room for another drink – we have NO idea how he could have gotten the wrong idea!) and that years later he saw that man again and wanted to “stomp him like a cockroach.” If there hadn’t been other people in the elevator, he would have beaten him up. Because of this incident, being in a place where there were gay people – like a GAY WEDDING – would be repulsive to him. Oh, but he still loved his daughter.

To him, it is OK to react violently against a man whose only fault was finding him attractive. Wow. He went on to say that this was a typical heterosexual male response. That our straight friends must be lying to us, or hiding their emotions.

This made me think how important it is for everyone to be OUT and to demand EQUAL treatment and EQUAL marriage rights – not just for the 1000+ benefits we are denied, but because this level of anger and hatred still exists – sometimes right under our noses! And maybe the best way to know it’s there is to flush it out. To push it into the light. To not be OK with partial equality – but to stand up for what is our right and see then who your true friends and family are.

I am sad, a bit, for Oliver, who really enjoyed fishing with the man who he would have considered his grandfather after the wedding.

I am glad, though, that this breed of heterosexual man is probably dying out. That the new breed is dominated by people like my ex-boyfriends and my friends and my son, who is also our ring bearer and who I hope will be terribly flattered some day if a man finds him attractive!

Click here to view the embedded video.

In a business sense, if something isn’t fun and you have the option (!) – like when you are developing a business plan or work processes or strategies to increase your presence – it seems best to go with the funnest option!

If you don’t want to create a page in Facebook because it is too daunting, don’t do it – find another way that is more fun. If you don’t like blogging, find someone who does. If you dread doing layout or photoshop or XL, ask and see – there might just be someone working with you who secretly loves it! This just happened with me recently on an XLS-driven project. Shockingly, someone LOVES XL and asked only that I draw up a basic plan and she will make it work like the math magic that it can. I teared up.

Here at Dottie’s, none of us think it is fun doing the producer job – finding money, networking, contracts, etc. Perhaps it’s because we don’t have a lot of experience on “high levels” of entertainment negotiation or perhaps we fall too heavily into the creatives category, either way, it isn’t fun and in the end forcing ourselves to do something that isn’t fun means we weren’t doing a very good job.

So we’ve decided to look for “real” producers to catapult Dottie to the next level – World Domination (insert Evil Snicker). Stayed tuned for details of The Quest as they unfold…

Meanwhile, if you are now doing something unavoidable and  unfun, hopefully click on the Elk will help! If not, try bourbon.

I realize so many of my blogs lately have been about the fundraiser… We’ve all spent a while working toward the goals, etc. so it was on my mind! But there have been other things also on my mind lately that I’d like to share, like:

• Whether this seasonal affectation light is making me nauseated
• How to adjust the spring in Oliver’s new pogo stick without losing a finger
• If the neighbors would mind leaving the lights up all year round, especially Portia, our bulimic, lighted reindeer
• When someone will come out with an iphone plan to defeat AT&T’s mind-numbing $122 a month
• Cheese
• What to feature for our next dinner party (the last two featured the peach and the radish)
• Dexter
• The perfect marriage of Roku and Hulu-Plus – making me believe in forever
• How a friend can be taking 50,000 units of Vitamin D (when the typical dose is 1,000-2,000) and not begin to glow-in-the-dark
• Cary Grant doing that backflip in The Perfect Wife – twice

So see, it’s not all-Dottie, all-the-time. Though, I would like also to add this:

Thank you to everyone who has donated to our Indiegogo campaign so far – every dollar counts (and the first $25 is tax deductible!). We need money to re-do the opening of the DVD, make the CD available on iTunes, pay our accountant and tax folks, keep the website running, send Dottie to performances for non-profits, and (our dream) make more shows – whether in connection with a bigger entity (see: cha-ching) or a funded DIY way.

So please mention us in your blogs or on Facebook or in emails to people… Ask your parents for your Holiday gift to be a donation to Dottie in your kids’ names… Help your kids do a lemonade (or hot cider) stand for Dottie… put a notice in your church bulletin… Recycle for Dottie!

Whatever you can do, we appreciate you doing your part to keep this world a more loving (and fabulous!) place.

Dan Savage started this amazing YouTube project, encouraging people to share videos directed to our GLBTQ youth who are in desperate times. Please share them! Here is one from Tim Gunn who confesses that he tried suicide at 17 (It Gets Better!).

Click here to view the embedded video.

Most of these videos address bullying in school, but often pressure on these kids comes not only from outside the home but from inside. This is where we, as adults, can help.

It is our responsibility to be a safe, soft spot for anyone – particularly young people! – who we see struggling with identity in what may be a very hostile world/home for them.

Look around. If you notice this among your kids’ friends, take a moment to invite them to your house for dinner, make it known that they are always welcome (without needing to say “in case your parents are making life hard for you”).

If you don’t have kids or notice this with someone you don’t know, befriend them – hire them to do lawn work for money and get to know them or just compliment them on how amazing they are (funny, unique, fashionable, strong). Ask them for advice if they seem to have a gift. When you know them better, let them know they will be an amazing man or woman someday. Just be kind.

I had one or two special friends who had wonderful parents that reached out to me in these subtle ways, and it truly helped (thanks Amy, Laura, Colleen, and Lori). It helped me think maybe I wasn’t crazy or bad or evil. More, it let me know I had someone to go if I wanted.

So please spread the It Gets Better videos and take a moment to be nice – even the smallest gesture could change someone’s life.

The Dottie Crew converged on SF two days before:
Andrea, our Director and tech guru drove up from LA with Dottie; Wayne, our Creative Director also drove up from LA with his camera and the portable Dottie couch to assemble pipe and drape for performances, plus his boyfriend Micheal who handed out Dottie coloring books; Karena, our Communications Head who lives p/t in SF was there to support Motilda; Ally, our Composer and back-up singer/dancer drove up with her girlfriend Laura who supported the funny, gassy Uncanny; and I flew down from Portland to help with crowd control and introduce the show.

After hours running through the “Let’s Be a Bat” song and new dance (thanks, Karena’s neighbors!!), we hit the Castro Theater stage and – with the wonderful support of the Frameline crew – had a really fun show with only one kid rushing the stage to dance with Dottie (so cute!).

Always amazes me how much time and crew is needed to make a show look simple!

More good news – Dottie is flying to the Austin Gay Lesbian Film Festival to perform for the kids! So please spread the word to any and all families you know in Austin to save September 11 at 11:30am for a great day with the kids… Thank you!

I want to pass the info along to everyone in the SF area about the show this Sunday, June 20th. It starts at 11am. We’ll be showing our world premiere of out “Who’s In Your Family” video right before Dottie takes the stage with Uncanny and Motilda!

Every time Dottie performs it is like watching a kiddie version of the Beatles, except with less tears and pushy broads.

If you are in the area, come on down! We’ll have a surprise take-home for the kids and, of course, some new dance steps…

And thanks everyone for passing this along – sending a link, posting on Facebook, tweeting, stenciling on forehead… It is all about engaging the kids in a fun show that reflects the fabulous diversity of our world (and, of course, magic glitter).

Last year, during a hefty wave, I gave this ornament to Karena, needle felted in the true holiday spirit.

Watch this YouTube clip for a more detailed explanation how to do it yourself (it’s a pumpkin, not an ornament, but same concept):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Oliver is in Waldorf and they crazy love felting. For Mother’s Day he made his two moms a necklace with such a fabulously unusual use of felt (or at least it is to me) that I decided to share. It’s EASY AND GREAT FOR KIDS (and adults)!

Take strips of colored felting wool and roll it into one sushi-like roll. Dip the sushi roll into soapy water and squeeze a bit, kneeding gently (not to ruin the shape though). Roll tightly then let dry.

The next day, simply cut the strip into pieces then string them onto a necklace – in this case, with beads separating the sushi-felt (excuse the weird photo).

You could also glue the pieces face up onto a ring base – or make fridge magnets – or whatever. So next rainy day, give it a try… Have fun!

here is the Bio:
Welcome to the official twitter page of the Office of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

now how did i find this? well, i started by sleuthing around lindsay lohan’s page – noting that at first i spelled her name wrong, and came on a page that had 30,000+ followers – er. then i went to samathan ronson (of course), who commented on john mayer (jabbing boi fun)… and in the process i noticed that many of these celebrity types are following some dude named Adam Mckay (aka Ghostpanther).

i don’t know who Ghostpanther is… but i noticed that he only follows a few dozen people, so i clicked his list and low and behold – one of them is the Dalai Lama. strange.

most recent Ghostpanther-Tweet: Does the phrase “more cushion for the pushin” apply to having a lot of actual cushions? Cause I have like 24 cushions.

most recent Lama-Tweet: Deep down we must have a real affection for each other, a clear realization or recognition of our shared human status.

yup.

So I googled “Funniest Vlogs” and got some responses that proved how subjective humor is, then “Top Ten Vlogs” – which pulled up the beloved Kelly (of “Shoes” fame) with Heather the Vampire, then “Ten Most Popular Vlogs” just to see what the world outside of Jeffrey, Cole, Kelly, and Heather were doing (that and I have a cold and thinking beyond this makes my skull thump like the energizer bunny on excessive Kombucha).

Ten Most Popular Vlogs (note: of 2007) – first (horrifyingly), a baby cow walking along with its group is taken by surprise by two charging lions, pushed in the water, and attacked – I stopped at the first few bites (noting that in the background of the car from where the video was shot were the voices of children, shocked the calf was caught – I know it is nature but, well, so is a whole lot of other “natural” stuff best kept in the wild or behind closed doors).

Next: some musical prodigy vlogs, some celebrity-inspired vlogs (crazed woman begging people to leave Britney alone, spoof on Timberlake, singing love-crush to shirtless Obama… we all might remember that one), and then, of course, the animal vlogs. There was a cat playing the piano (me thinking: doesn’t a vlog have to be done by and about humans, or isn’t it just a video?) and a clip of Otters Holding Hands.

It’s the otters that got me. Watched start to finish, all 1:40 minutes.

Open on: Two otters were peacefully sleeping, floating around their little pool area while a video camera was trained on them and an increasing crowd of people cooed (camera closing in) with the realization that the otters were holding hands! (me wondering why animals are cutest when they are doing “human” things…)

A minute into the video, one of the otters (let’s call him Ted) is woken up by the coos and releases the other otter’s hand, sending his friend (let’s call him Jeremiah) drifting into the side of the pool wall. Ted looks to the camera in what seems like, if i may anthropomorphize, irritation. This was a private moment between consenting adults. He then swims out of the shot, perhaps being kind enough to drift away from Jeremiah (never Jerry) while tending to some personal business, so as not to sully their shared waters.

And a minute later, crowds quieting, Ted swims back over to Jeremiah (now bumping pleasantly against the pool side) and reaches in to proudly grab his hand (well, paw really but…).

It was cute but for some reason I felt a little silly and, well, a little embarrassed watching – maybe like a chaperone at prom or a maid who doesn’t hear the shower running… or a human watching otters minding their own ottery business. (Still, it really is cute…)

Click here to view the embedded video.